When you come out of prison, you might be required to work through some “counseling” that purportedly help you correct the errors of your ways. I’ve been over some of this in previous posts, but today I thought I would offer a list of how we felons are prone to all sorts of “thinking errors,” at least according to the people who oversee us, and make a brief exploration of whether these are felonious or not. Here’s where they allege I fail (and, yes, I have to take this personally because they made me do the workbook):
Thinking error #1: MAKING EXCUSES. One of their (felonious) examples reads, “It wasn’t that bad of a crime — Hey, nobody got hurt.” I can see the point here, but it brings back as many flashbacks of prison officials as inmates. For example, this is a common mantra for COs: “You should be grateful that you aren’t at a maximum security prison, then you could really suffer.” This clichĂ© is usually trotted out when an inmate points out something amiss with the conditions of the prison or the actions of its staff.
Thinking error #2: IGNORING RESPONSIBLE ACTION. One of their examples: “I’m so angry at my idiot boss, I’ll show him who’s really in charge.” Leave aside the fact that there are plenty of idiot bosses at whom to be angry. The prison staff version of this is: “Contradict me — whether your point it wrong or right — and I’ll make sure you do a stretch in solitary, and also let other inmates steal your possessions before I secure them.”
Thinking error #3: BEING ABOVE THE LAW. Ther example: “I deserve what I want, how I want it and when I want it.” In the practice of prison authorities, it might come out like this: “Prohibited Act 307: Refusing to obey the order of any staff member.” Invocation of this act is a common ploy to get the incarcerated into hot water. It really doesn’t if the order is logical, reasonable or ethical; it’s simply about being able to force inmates to do whatever the staff wants. There is basically no way for an inmate to win an appeal of such an infraction because it’s a falon’s word against an officer’s, and the presumption of truth goes to the officer, no matter how absurd.
Thinking error #4: ASSERTING POWER OVER OTHERS. Their examples: “It’s my way or the highway.” “If you start messing with me, you’re going to be sorry…very sorry.” “I don’t need advice from you or anyone else. So shut up and leave me alone.” I’d give prison staff examples, but these seem as if they were collected directly from staff already, so I’ll save us all the time.
Thinking error #5: SELF-SERVING ACTS OF KINDNESS. Their example: “I know I sold drugs but I did it to help a lot of people in my old neighborhood.” Translated into Correction-ese, with surprising frequency COs will go through a housing unit ranting, “I let you guys get away will all kinds of stuff in here, and don’t say anything, but now I need you to get your shit together and do me a solid because my higher ups are on my ass. You owe me.”
Thinking error #6: GETTING AWAY WITH ANYTHING. Their for instance: “They’ll never get enough evidence to arrest me.” Prison staff version: We were told at inmate orientation to go ahead and file all the grievance paperwork we wanted to against staff, but it wasn’t going to make any difference, and it was just going to piss the staff off. We were dared to try it and mocked for considering it potentially helpful to us.
Thinking error #7: LAZY THINKING. Their example: “Why should I waste my time with this paperwork? I’m sure they’ll let me slide.” Might as well have taken a transcript from everyday conversation at the desk of most correctional staff. “I don’t want to do the paperwork” is the unofficial motto of prison staff. Then when they do they paperwork it’s often in a half-assed way that is bound to get overlooked if it is to the detriment of the officer. If it’s to the detriment of the prisoner, well that’s pretty much tough shit, and then you can go back to thinking error #1 to get yourself off the hook, should there be a hook.
Thinking error #8: GETTING SIDETRACKED. Putative inmate thinking: “I know I said I would help you, but something else came up.” One major difference between inmates and correctional staff is this notion of “help.” The former can be very generous with that, the latter need to look up the meaning. Also, not following through on promises is a pretty severe violation of the inmate code of ethics, and is generally frowned upon, punishable by ostracism. Classic staff: “I’m start my days off tomorrow. I’m not going to deal with this. Find somebody to handle it before I get back.” Once they are back: “Sorry I have training and a whole pile of things I need to do. You aren’t a priority.”
I suppose I should now make a pitch for the universal humanity of us all. None of us is perfect; we can all succumb to thinking errors. But that would be making excuses. If I have to confess to the error of my ways, they should, too. The thin correctional line doesn’t separate good from evil. IT separates the convicted from the non-convicted. But not being convicted is far from innocence. The exercise of power needs to perpetuate itself and the construction of the alien other, also known as the convict with thinking errors, is part of the fantastical foundation that keeps the prison industrial complex chugging along.