Conspiratorial Irony

I’m not certain whether the craze of conspiracy theories that seems to be sweeping America got its start outside the prison system and moved into it, or whether it was somehow exported from the system itself. All I know is that conspiratorial madness is now super common in both places. In fact, it’s a really a kind of industry in which the creators of conspiracy theories seem to get a perverse pay off by seeing how easily they can manipulate the most people with the most outrageous bullshit. These creators get an even more narcissistic payoff by watching their believers viciously defend patently illogical ideas as logical, in many cases defnding them with a kind of criminal vehemence. It’s not that this kind of thinking is new, but after prison I’m far more sensitive to it because it is so common there. In the outside-of-prison world of 2021, I’m feel a bit queasy about how common conspiracy has been come in everyday conversation. On the inside I wrote a couple limerick about conspiracy theories. They go something like this:

It's no wonder that you are not free
When you worship a conspiracy.
Every con, scam, and ruse
Makes you slave to abuse
While you display ignorant glee.

And this one:

Want to cause me to moan and look weary?
Then start spouting conspiracy theory.
When you toss evidence,
Like trash, over the fence.
It's just plain that you see things more clearly.

The thing that always gave me some ironic happiness in prison is that inmates were very often convinced of the utter reliability and solidity of conspiracies even when they themselves were sitting in prison precisely because they had engaged in a conspiracy that didn’t work. Even more, if they know that there are all these conspiracies out there, then those conspiracies aren’t really working, either, because a conspiracy would really have to be invisible to be successful. The logic of the secret gubmint. But I’m willing to give people inside prisons a kind of break. After all, there’s really not that much to do in there. Now outside prison? Maybe I should give people the benefit out the doubt out here, too. But maybe we all really need to find more useful things to do in lieu of a sweeping pleasure in paranoia.

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